Well, it has certainly been a while since I last posted. Posting everyday seemed like a viable option at the time; however, life has become really hectic as of late. I promise you, who ever you are reading this, that I have been working on my goals for the past few months. My first goal has been completed for the most part, with the exception of telling my family. This is not due to my fear of my father or sister knowing, but an uncertainty of how our relationship will change. While I do think that our relation will change, I do not think it will be negatively impacted. Everyone who I have conversed with on the subject of me being gay has said that it gets better, and I can attest to this fact. In the few months that have passed since I have come out of the closet, I have been able to create a great deal of positive energy and change in my life.
I have discovered a new passion for being fit and healthy. I know that it is not much, but over the past two months, I have lost 30 pounds. For me, this has been a been a great accomplishment. When I began this blog I never imagined being able to accomplish this is such a small period of time. My original goal was 50 pounds, and I am over halfway there. While this weight loss has been a great gain, I am now more resolved to go further than my original goal. My new goal will be to lose 100 pounds by next spring! This is quite ambitious, and it will not be easy. I have already begun to see myself plateauing. It is for that very reason that I am upping my challenge. I am one who does not succeed unless I have a monumental task set before me.
These past few months have really been a great period of self discovery for me, especially the last few weeks. I have unearthed qualities and attributes that I never imagined defined me. I partly owe this to a great mentor in my life, my marketing professor from college. He has been a great inspiration in my life to always succeed and go further than what I give myself credit for. Over the past few weeks, I began the process of applying to graduate schools. Upon my professor's recommendation, I am applying to Stanford, Penn State University, Georgetown University, and University of Maryland.
Stanford, in particular, has been an extremely cathartic and introspective experience for me. The essays have forced me to meditate on myself and define my being. I originally believed that I knew me and what defined me. However, I have come to realize even more about my being, and have even been able to reach a sense of clarity in all the fog of my life. One of the questions for this year's application is, "What do you want to do-REALLY-and why Stanford?" Yeah, these are extremely difficult essays. But in meditating on this, I came to realize what I want to do in life. I have often been told that I should teach; however, I usually would just defer by stating I can't stand ignorance. But for this very fact, it makes sense to me. When I say teaching, I am referring to being a professor. But my objective in choosing to go to grad school is a bipartite goal. In the long term, I would like to go for my PhD, but my overarching goal is to gain the experience and knowledge in order to be able to do that. A great professor is not someone who only has a great deal of academia, but also someone who holds unequaled resume experience. These professors have worked at the best companies, taken their knowledge, and applied it to those companies in order to create prosperity for the company, but more importantly, the environments and communities the operate in.
If someone told me years ago that I would have the courage to apply to Stanford, I would have stared at them in disbelief. However, it is for this very reason that I am applying to some of the top MBA programs in the country. I am now holding myself to greater standards. As Julia Child would have said, "You have to have the courage of your convictions." This quote is quite inspirational to me. It says that you have to have the courage and audacity to believe in yourself, and this has really inspired me through my undergraduate experiences, but more so in the process of applying to graduate programs. While Stanford realistically may be out of my reach, I am not going to belittle myself in comparison to others. I have put down on paper my most vulnerable, personal, and greatest experiences for Stanford to evaluate. It is with this conviction that I am able to stand up to this test.
No comments:
Post a Comment